The Startling Truth of the Burning Bowl

After growing up outdoors more than in, my life took a decidedly office-based turn. I'm trying to turn that around. Getting out more. Studying the outdoors. Reading up on survival, etc. Along the way, I learned something I didn't expect to learn in the tale of the Burning Bowl: Survivalists are funny. Sometimes intentionally. More often, not so much.

Those everyday people that you start discovering on Twitter when you do a little research into survival are the best entertainment. They are smart, thoughtful, kind, quirky, off-beat, and sometimes, really kind of nuts. (Feel free to place me in any of the three latter categories. Evil works for me too.)

I adore them. I adore the kind of crazy but nice goat farmers. I adore the survival researcher in Texas who could be my best pun friend ever. Yes, I even adore the "aww honeys" (as in "Aww honey, the elevator doesn't go to your floor, does it?"). There are surprisingly fewer "aww honeys" than I expected, but boy are they ever cute. I just want to wrap them in bubble wrap and pat them on the head.

The only thing missing from many a tweet is the preface, "Hold mah beer and watch this..." I suspect it is only missing because of the 140-character limit.

The Burning Bowl in progress.  The rocks control the direction
of the burn by blocking the wind. 

Not too long ago, a friend posted just such a tweet. He'd decided to "carve" a bowl out of wood. Okay. Lots of woodworkers,
crafty-types, preppers, and survivalists do this. There was a catch though.

"I'm going to burn a bowl," he declared. I'm pretty sure the "hold mah beer" was implied.

He was going to "carve" the bowl using an ember to burn out the center, then scrape out the charred wood to make the bowl. Apparently, this is a tried, tested, and true method of making a bowl. (He got the idea from a Creek Stewart show).  I suppose it makes sense in a survival situation when you might not have a full set of woodworking tools, but...

It also sounded like a bad idea on so many levels. I even had the headline written for my blog post after the project went bad: "Crazy Goat Farmer Burning a Bowl Burns Barn." Luckily for the crazy goat farmer, I don't get to use it. I'd be lying if I said I was a teeny, tiny bit disappointed that no mayhem ensued. His wife, on the other hand, is likely not disappointed at all.

In the process of burning his bowl, he did manage to flood the area with smoke and wondered if you could get high from burning pine. I wonder if we'd notice the difference if he did. And is a Burning Bowl like a Burning Bush? Will it lead you to some sort of truth? Or does that depend on the amount of smoke you inhale?

For the record, he was successful and he actually has he bowl halfway done. It looks an awful lot like the inside of a wonky walnut.  He still has to carve the outside. With actual tools. Sharp tools. This could go badly. I should start working on the title of that post. "Crazy Goat Farmer Severs Hand Shaping Burned Bowl." Meh. Needs work. I have time though.

His next project is a "rocket stove". I'm telling his wife. No good ever came from the combination of a man, fire, fuel, and anything with the word "rocket" in its name.

Disclaimer: If you are going to try this, do your research and follow directions! Be careful! There are plenty of instructional vids and blogs online. Just search "making a burn bowl".